Learning to Trust the In- Between
I was writing this in my journal this evening and then decided to make a version of this into a caption for Instagram, which eventually led me to write it here. Will anyone see this? Probably not, but if nothing else, it's for me.
I’m still figuring out my career. I say that out loud now, without shame.
I’m curious. Working while learning. Growing while going.
Putting myself in spaces that feel uncomfortable. Trying things I’ve never done before. Letting myself be new even when every part of me wants certainty or stabililty like all of my friends.
When I feel this way, I have to remind myself that just under a year ago, my life looked completely different.
I was living in another country. I felt deeply lost & I cried most days.
At 30, I carried this quiet but heavy belief that I was supposed to have it all figured out by now. That after years of hard work, pushing, achieving, and striving, I would feel settled. Secure. Proud, in my career, in my relationship, in my financial status.
Instead, I felt disconnected from my body and intuition. My mind and body were speaking two different languages, one telling me this is it, this is the dream you have wanted and worked hard for, ( which on paper it was ), and yet my body was filled with crippling anxiety and signs I kept ignoring. Were there still moments of happiness? Absolutely, every day, amazing friendships, colleagues, jobs, companies, and opportunities, all products of my hard work and determination. Yet like I said, my body was telling me something different.
That realization was really uncomfortable. Was I really about to leave everything, everything I knew for 7 years, because my gut was telling me to? God.. Even writing that freaks me out because what do you mean, how is that even an option? My gut told me at the time of complete exhaustion that it was my only option.
So I changed everything.
My country.
My relationship.
My career.
My lifestyle.
None of it was easy. None of it was linear. And none of it came with certainty.
Trust wasn’t something I had access to back then. I didn’t trust myself, my timing, or my choices. I trusted external markers instead job titles, productivity, stability, what made sense on paper. Letting go of those things felt like failure, even when staying felt like self-betrayal.
What I’m learning now is that alignment doesn’t arrive all at once.
It doesn’t come packaged as the perfect role that ticks every box: finance, wellness, freedom, and balance. Sometimes only one or two are present. Sometimes they rotate. Sometimes they feel far away. And that doesn’t mean you’re off track; it means you’re building something honest.
I’m learning to notice when something no longer aligns.
To listen without immediately panicking about what comes next.
To let endings exist without forcing immediate answers.
This phase of my life isn’t about having it all figured out.
It’s about rebuilding trust with myself, with my body, and with the quieter voice underneath the noise.
Trusting that following my values, even without a clear map, is enough.
Trusting that growth can be messy, slow, and still meaningful.
Trusting that choosing myself doesn’t require certainty — just honesty.
I don’t know what’s next - I mean, no one really does, but I definitely don't. What I do know is I trust myself and my abilities. All while still learning, still single, and learning to fall in love with Ireland, my life, and all it has to offer.
And right now, that feels like progress.
If any part of this resonates, you’re welcome to stay close.
I’ll be sharing more about a new offering in the new year called Soul Purpose. It is for those who don’t have it all figured out but feel called to build something meaningful. It’s a mix of practical business support and grounded coaching, helping you trust yourself, move forward with clarity, and stay well along the way. soon.
If this feels supportive, you can leave your details below. No pressure, no expectations, just a gentle way to connect and receive more information when it’s ready.
